A man is going from door to door. He stops at one house and knocks on the door. A man opens the door. The door-to-door salesman says, "Hello sir, today we're going door-to-door looking for those who might be interested in making a donation to the retirement home."
"Sure, that sounds great!" exclaims the man. "Grandma, grab your coat!"
Arriving late for a political conference, the college student asks another student standing by the door, "How long has the candidate been talking now?"
"Half an hour."
"And what is he talking about?"
"That I wouldn't know, he hasn't said."
The teacher asks the class: Where do apples grow?
Smart Samantha answers: On apple trees.
The teacher asks the class: Where do pears grow?
Clever Curtis answers: On pear trees.
The teacher asks the class: Where do dates grow?
The class is silent. Little Johnny raises his hand and says: On calendars?