doctor jokes

I asked my psychiatrist why is it every time I eat sardines, I dream about being attacked by sharks. He answered, “It’s all about guilt and self payback.”

Considering how much money it cost for one hour of his time, he must dream about his watch turning all green and wrinkled.

My doctor told me that I have a condition known as narco-somnia, which has symptoms of both narcolepsy and insomnia.

That's probably why I always sleep with one eye open.

People who think that time heals everything have obviously never tried waiting it out in a doctor's waiting room!