ltsai Profile

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ltsai

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 41
# of followers : 3
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 43.00
1 votes

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."

"That's amazing," said the woman, "how old are you?"

"Twenty-six," he said.

1 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "ltsai" |
1 votes

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the engine of a Harley Davidson motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?" The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic... "Try doing it with the engine running."

1 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "ltsai" |
0 votes

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE. God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

0 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "ltsai" |
1 votes

"Frank, if you have 20 dollars and Bill takes away 14. What would you have?” said the teacher.

"A fight!” answers Frank.

1 votes

CATEGORY Teacher Jokes
posted by "ltsai" |