doctor jokes
Favorite this joke Dr. Stitchem was trying very hard to convince Percy that he should give up drinking.
"Ever notice a cactus plant?" he asked Percy. "If you pour water around its roots it thrives, turns greener, and grows bigger. Take the same cactus plant. Pour vile liquor on it and what happens? It shrivels, it shrinks, it dies. Doesn't this teach you anything?"
"Yes," said Percy. "If you want a cactus growing in your stomach drink water."
You're in incredible shape," the doctor said. "How old are you again"?
"I am 78," the man said.
"78!" remarked the doctor. "How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 60-year-old."
"Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad, she would go into the kitchen and cool off and I would go outside for a walk to settle down," the man explained.
"What does that have to do with it?” asked the doctor.
"I've pretty much lived an outdoor life."
An elderly lady and an orthopedic surgeon were travelling in an elevator together. The doors started to shut as the lady was trying to get out of the doors. The surgeon kindly put his head in between the doors so the lady could get out.
"Thank you very much," said the lady, "but why did you use your head?"
"I used my head because I need my hands for work," said the surgeon, grinning proudly.
1st Place
won
$50.00
Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
There go the lights again...
Ya know, there's big money in kidneys - and this guy's got two of'em.
That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
Uh Oh! Page 47 is missing!
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