doctor jokes

A woman was having a medical problem - her husband snoring. She called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her "suffering".

"Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will cost $1000 down, and then payments of $450 for 24 months, plus payments for extras."

"Wow!" the woman exclaimed, "sounds like leasing a new sports car!"

"Hmmm," the doctor murmured, "too obvious, huh?"

A well-known rich businessman's wife broke her hip. The businessman got the best bone surgeon in town to do the operation. The operation consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it. The operation went fine, and the doctor sent the business man a fee for his services of $5000.

The businessman was outraged at the cost, and sent the doctor a letter demanding an itemized list of the costs. The doctor sent back a list with two things:

One screw..................................... $ 1
Knowing how to put it in............. $4999
Total = $5000

The businessman never argued.

A man goes to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor checks him out thoroughly doing various tests. He then goes back to his table and sits down. "I'm prescribing these pills for you," he says.

Noting the weird name of the prescription, the man asks, "What am I taking now?"

"Oh, I don't want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day and pick them up, one at a time."

A man went to his doctor to go over his blood work results. As soon as he entered the doctor's office, the doctor said to him, "I just looked at your results. You are lucky that you come to see me early enough..."

The man became very nervous and asked, "What's wrong with my blood work?"

"Oh nothing! Just that I'll be leaving my office early today," replied the doctor.