I have this condition where I eat if I can't sleep...
It's called Insom-nom-nom-nom-nia
Patient: "Doc, I am very stressed out and I am not getting proper sleep at night."
Doctor: "I am giving you some medicines and sleeping pills."
Patient: "Is this going to help?"
Doctor: "Yes, just give it to your wife before going to bed."
A mother complained to her doctor about her daughter's strange eating habits, "All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?"
"Eventually," said the doctor, "she will rise and shine!"
Doctor: I am sorry I can't treat your ailment!
Patient: Why doctor? Is it that serious?
Doctor: No. Your ailment was not covered in my medical study book.
Patient, trembling in fear: Which book was that?
Doctor: How to become doctor in 30 days!