doctor jokes

A woman brought her baby in to see the doctor, and he determined right away the baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, "Put two drops in right ear every four hours" and he abbreviated 'right' as an R with a circle around it.

Several days passed, and the woman returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil. The doctor looked at the bottle of ear drops and sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label:

"Put two drops in R ear every four hours."

Patient 1: "Why did you run away from the operation table?"

Patient 2: "The nurse was repeatedly saying 'don't get nervous', 'don't be afraid', 'be strong', 'this is a small operation only', things like that."

Patient 1: "So what was wrong in that? Why were you so afraid?"

Patient 2: "She was talking to the surgeon!"

When I stepped on the scale at my doctor’s office, I was surprised to see that I weighed 144 pounds.

“Why don’t you just take off that last four?” I joked to the nurse’s aide as she made a notation on my chart.

A few moments later, my doctor came in and flipped through the chart.

“I see you’ve lost weight,” he said. “You’re down to... 14 pounds???”