doctor jokes

Category: "Doctor Jokes"
$10.00 won 12 votes

Patient: Doctor, whenever I get up after a sleep, I feel dizzy for half an hour, then I'm all right.'

Doctor: Then wait for half an hour before getting up.

12 votes

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Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "mickey" |
$50.00 won 16 votes

My elderly mother was rushed to the hospital following a serious tumble. There the staff placed a band around her wrist with large letters warning: Fall Risk.

Unimpressed, Mom said to me, “I’ll have them know I’m a winter, spring, and summer risk too!”

16 votes

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Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Mounika" |
0 votes

Dr. Stitchem was trying very hard to convince Percy that he should give up drinking.

"Ever notice a cactus plant?" he asked Percy. "If you pour water around its roots it thrives, turns greener, and grows bigger. Take the same cactus plant. Pour vile liquor on it and what happens? It shrivels, it shrinks, it dies. Doesn't this teach you anything?"

"Yes," said Percy. "If you want a cactus growing in your stomach drink water."

0 votes

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posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes

You're in incredible shape," the doctor said. "How old are you again"?

"I am 78," the man said.

"78!" remarked the doctor. "How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 60-year-old."

"Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad, she would go into the kitchen and cool off and I would go outside for a walk to settle down," the man explained.

"What does that have to do with it?” asked the doctor.

"I've pretty much lived an outdoor life."

1 votes

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posted by "HENNE" |