As part of the admission procedure in a hospital, a nurse will ask the patient if they are allergic to anything. If they are, the nurse prints it on an allergy band that goes on the patient's wrist.
Once when the nurse asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies, the woman said she couldn't eat bananas.
Several hours later a very irate son came out to the nurses station demanding, "Who's responsible for labeling my mother 'Bananas'?"
Due to a job transfer, Brian moved from his hometown to New York City. Being that he had a very comprehensive health history, he brought along all of his medical paperwork when it came time for his first check up with his new doctor. The doctor kept glancing at Brian as he reviewed the medical paperwork.
After browsing through the extensive medical history, the doctor stared at Brian for a few moments and said, ” Well there’s one thing I can say for certain, you sure look better in person than you do on paper!”
Dewey dragged himself into his doctor's office one day looking very exhausted. "Doctor," he said, "there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep!"
"I have good news for you, Dewey," the doctor said, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here are some new sleeping pills that were just approved. They work like a dream. Just a few of these and your troubles will be over."
"Great," said Dewey, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot."
The doctor gave him the pills. Dewey thanked him and left.
Two weeks later, Dewey came back to the doctor's office looking worse than ever. "Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than ever!" Dewey exclaimed.
"I don't understand how that could be," said the doctor, shaking his head. "Those are the strongest pills on the market!"
"That may be true," answered Dewey wearily, "but I'm still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one, it's really hard getting him to swallow the pill!"