Doctor: I am sorry I can't treat your ailment!
Patient: Why doctor? Is it that serious?
Doctor: No. Your ailment was not covered in my medical study book.
Patient, trembling in fear: Which book was that?
Doctor: How to become doctor in 30 days!
Went to my eye doctor the other day...
Guess who I bumped into?
Patient: "It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable."
Doctor: "Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?"
Patient: "I sure did. The bottle said 'keep tightly closed'."
I called the Doctor this week. I said, "Doctor, I think my wife is dead."
He replied, "What makes you think that?"
I said, "Well, the sex hasn't changed, but the dishes are building up."