Instructor: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Student: What are the two things?
Instructor: Your feet.
Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: Okay, but I asked first!
Teacher : Which is the oldest animal?
Student : The zebra.
Teacher : How come?
Student : Because it's still in black & white.