The day after I had surgery on my leg, a nurse came into my hospital room with a box in her hand. “Are you ready for this?”
“What is it?” I asked.
“Fleet enema. Didn’t your doctor tell you about it?”
She rechecked the orders. “Whoa!” she bellowed. “That didn’t say Fleet enema. It said feet elevated!”
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc... 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'’’
The doctor replied, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You’ve got a heart murmur, be careful.'''
A fellow with a very sore shoulder went to his doctor for a consultation.
"It looks like it's just inflamed," the doctor said as he looked at the x-rays. "A cortisone shot would likely calm done the pain for a while."
"But will it hurt?" the patient asked.
The doctor's responded, "I've given hundreds of these shots, and I've never felt a thing."