doctor jokes
Favorite this joke I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The nurse started with certain basics. “How much do you weigh?” she asked.
“135,” I said. The nurse put me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.
The nurse asked, “Your height?”
“5 foot 4,” I said.
The nurse checked and saw that I only measure 5 foot 2 inches. She then took my blood pressure and told me that it is very high.
“Of course it’s high!” I screamed. “When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I’m short and fat!”
10th Place
won
$5.00
"I had the strangest dream last night," a man was telling his psychiatrist.
"I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face. You can imagine, I found this very disturbing, and in fact I woke up immediately, and couldn't get back to sleep. I just lay there in bed waiting for morning to come. Then I got up, drank a Coke, and came right over here for my appointment. I thought you could help me explain the meaning of this strange dream?"
The psychiatrist was silent for a full minute before responding, "A Coke? You call that a breakfast?"
My optometrist just told me I had 2020 vision...
I told him I wanted a 2nd opinion!
The female skier Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo)...
The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street is not just an athlete, she is a nurse. She currently works at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital.
She is not permitted to answer the telephone, however, as it caused simply too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say,
"Picabo, ICU..."
6th Place
won
$9.00
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