doctor jokes

Category: "Doctor Jokes"
$5.00 won 4 votes

I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The nurse started with certain basics. “How much do you weigh?” she asked.

“135,” I said. The nurse put me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asked, “Your height?”

“5 foot 4,” I said.

The nurse checked and saw that I only measure 5 foot 2 inches. She then took my blood pressure and told me that it is very high.

“Of course it’s high!” I screamed. “When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I’m short and fat!”

4 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
3 votes

"I had the strangest dream last night," a man was telling his psychiatrist.

"I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face. You can imagine, I found this very disturbing, and in fact I woke up immediately, and couldn't get back to sleep. I just lay there in bed waiting for morning to come. Then I got up, drank a Coke, and came right over here for my appointment. I thought you could help me explain the meaning of this strange dream?"

The psychiatrist was silent for a full minute before responding, "A Coke? You call that a breakfast?"

3 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
2 votes

My optometrist just told me I had 2020 vision...

I told him I wanted a 2nd opinion!

2 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
$9.00 won 7 votes

The female skier Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo)...

The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street is not just an athlete, she is a nurse. She currently works at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital.

She is not permitted to answer the telephone, however, as it caused simply too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say,

"Picabo, ICU..."

7 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "HENNE" |