This guy ate a light bulb and had to be taken to the doctor.
The doctor said, "You're not a very bright guy!"
Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
A patient complained to his doctor, “I’ve been to three other physicians, and none of them agreed with your diagnosis.”
The doctor calmly replied, “Just wait until the autopsy. Then we will see who was right."
Accountant: "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."
Doctor: "Have you tried counting sheep?"
Accountant: "Yes, and that's the problem! I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it!"