The day after I had surgery on my leg, a nurse came into my hospital room with a box in her hand. “Are you ready for this?”
“What is it?” I asked.
“Fleet enema. Didn’t your doctor tell you about it?”
“No.”
She rechecked the orders. “Whoa!” she bellowed. “That didn’t say Fleet enema. It said feet elevated!”
So the doctor came in to ask me about my broken arm.
He said: “Will painkillers help?"
I said: “It wouldn't hurt.”
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc... 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'’’
The doctor replied, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You’ve got a heart murmur, be careful.'''
A fellow with a very sore shoulder went to his doctor for a consultation.
"It looks like it's just inflamed," the doctor said as he looked at the x-rays. "A cortisone shot would likely calm done the pain for a while."
"But will it hurt?" the patient asked.
The doctor's responded, "I've given hundreds of these shots, and I've never felt a thing."