SIGN OVER A DOCTOR's OFFICE:
"Dr. Jones, OBGYN, at your cervix!"
"Doctor, I want to thank you for your great medicine."
"It helped you, did it?" asked the doctor very much pleased.
"It helped me wonderfully."
"How many bottles did you find it necessary to take?"
"Oh, I didn't take any of it. My uncle took one bottle, and I am his sole heir."
The conceited young man had been in the hospital for some time and had been extremely well looked after by the pretty young nurse.
"Nurse," said the patient, one morning. "I'm in love with you. I don't want to get well."
"Don't worry," replied the nurse cheerfully, "you won't. The doctor's in love with me too and he saw you kissing me this morning."
A physician had just finished up a colonoscopy.
Before the patient leaves, he asks the physician, "Could you write a note for my wife, saying that my head isn't really up there?"