doctor jokes

Doctor: "You need new glasses."

Patient: "How do you know? I haven't told you what's wrong with me yet."

Doctor: "I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window."

One day at a local clinic, the doctor is outraged to see that he has no patients to examine. So he called his assistant to ask what happened.

His assistant replied, "I asked the patients if they are feeling okay, and they said 'no', so I told them to go home and get plenty of rest!"

Doctor: "Ms. Markus, I want you to go to the lab for a blood workup. You don't have to fast."

Ms. Markus: "Fast? Doctor I'm seventy-nine, how fast can I go? I can barely walk!"