doctor jokes

Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork.

Patient: That's because you've got your hand on my watch!


"Doctor, Doctor I've had tummy ache since I ate three crabs yesterday."

"Did they smell bad when you took them out of their shells?"

"What do you mean 'took them out of their shells!'"

"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a bridge."

The Doctor says, "What's come over you?"

The guy says, "Three cars and a truck!"

Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalized?

His doctor says it was due to too many strokes.

After moving to Tennessee, I was looking for a new veterinarian for my dog.

I found one close by and booked an appointment for him.

Arriving at the office, I saw this sign on the door: "Veterinarian/Taxidermist. Either way, you get your pet back."