Sharon: I tell you, Doctor, even though I’m dieting, I’m still gaining weight!
Doctor: You might be pregnant.
Sharon: What?! That can’t be, I use birth control pills!
Doctor: That’s not a hundred percent certain.
Sharon: Then what is?
Sharon: Would you give me a prescription for it?
After a long and serious operation, Lena ended up in a coma. Try as they might, the doctors just couldn't bring her out of it. When her husband Ralph came into the intensive care unit to see her, the doctors gave him the bad news.
"We just can't wake her. It doesn't look good I'm afraid," the doctor told Ralph in a quiet somber voice.
Ralph looked at Lena and with a soft trembling voice said, "But doctor, she's so young. She's only forty-five."
"Thirty-Seven," came the weak reply from Lena.
My niece, pregnant with her second child, was certain she wanted an epidural for pain management during childbirth. Her doctor asked her at which stage of labor she wanted the epidural administered.
Her response: "Just meet me in the parking lot!"
Years ago I had just delivered twins. They were a boy and a girl. The head nurse brought them out for their father to see. He could hardly believe his good fortune. The girl baby had a pink blanket wrapped around her and the boy baby was enclosed in a blue blanket.
He took one step forward just so he could touch the babies and believe they had finally arrived. As he started to touch them the nurse took a step backward and said, "You can't touch those babies, you aren't sterile!"
Without missing a beat my husband retorted, "Obviously, I'm not sterile!"