doctor jokes

Category: "Doctor Jokes"
$5.00 won 1 votes

A physician had just finished up a colonoscopy.

Before the patient leaves, he asks the physician, "Could you write a note for my wife, saying that my head isn't really up there?"

1 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "LScott969" |
1 votes

"I hate to have to tell you this," said Dr. Mike Wilson in a sad compassionate voice, "but you have unfortunately been diagnosed with a highly contagious disease. We will have to quarantine you and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."

"That's terrible!" said the distraught young man, quickly sitting down before he could faint. "I don't know if I could handle being in quarantine... and the cheese and bologna diet... What's with the cheese and bologna diet anyway? I've never of such a diet before?!"

"It's not exactly a diet," responded Doctor Wilson, "it's just the only food that will fit under the door."

1 votes

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posted by "merk" |
$25.00 won 4 votes
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A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital ER. The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away. Another doctor runs into the room and says, "You're in luck, two hearts just became available, so you will get to choose which one you want. One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker."

The man quickly responds, "The attorney's."

The doctor says, "Wait! Don't you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?"

The man says, "I already know enough. We all know that social workers are bleeding hearts and the attorney's probably never used his. So I'll take the attorney's!"

4 votes

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Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |
1 votes

A doctor was trying to check an epidemic in a village. Visiting a family, he asked, "Are you taking precautions to prevent spread of contagion?"

"Yes, sir, doctor," replied the head of the family. "We've even bought a sanitary cup and we all drink from it."

1 votes

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posted by "Arthur Art Will Williams" |