"What Is The Phone Number For The Diet Advice Hotline?"
"ONE, EIGHT... and EIGHT... and EIGHT..."
"Doctor, Doctor, I Feel Like A Dustbin."
"Don't Talk Rubbish!"
Two robbers steal a goat and two chickens.
They decide to split the loot so one robber says to the other, "You take one chicken, and me and the goat will take the other one."
Doctor: "I'm afraid you suffer from obesity."
Patient: "Yes, it runs in the family."
Doctor: "No, nothing runs in your family."