business jokes

A speaker had a business engagement in a small town a few hours away. The train on which he was traveling was far from fast, and he took every opportunity to keep the conductor informed as to his opinion of the pace.

Finally, frustrated, the conductor blurted out, “If you don’t like it, get out and walk!”

“I would,” the man replied, “but the committee doesn’t expect me until this train gets in.”

What's the difference between an actuary and an accountant?

An actuary does much the same thing as an accountant but lacks the accountant's bright and vivacious personality.

A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?"

The clerk asks, "Are you, Irish?"

The guy, clearly offended says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for Polish sausage would you ask if I was Polish?"

The clerk says, "No I probably wouldn't."

The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Irish sausage why did you ask me if I'm Irish?"

The clerk replied, "Because you're in Halfords Clothing Store."