The elevator in our building malfunctioned one day, leaving several of us stranded. Seeing a sign that listed two emergency phone numbers, I dialed the first and explained our situation.
After what seemed to be a very long silence, the voice on the other end said, "I don't know what you expect me to do for you. I'm a psychologist."
"A psychologist?" I replied. "Your phone is listed here as an emergency number. Can't you help us?"
"Well," he finally responded in a measured tone. "How do you feel about being stuck in an elevator?"
Here's a little tip from me to you as an experienced traveler. Wake-up calls are the worst way to wake up. The phone rings, it's loud and you can't turn it down.
I leave the number of the room next to me. It just rings very quietly and you hear a guy yell, "Why are you calling me?"
Then I get up and take a shower. It's great.
When the ice-maker on our refrigerator broke, my husband dropped by the local hardware to find the part. Because the sun was so bright that day and the interior of the store was dark, his eyes hadn't quite adjusted when he walked in.
He accidentally stepped on the foot of a woman examining some samples. She screamed, causing my husband to jump sideways into a display of fireplace tools that went crashing in every direction. Unnerved, he stumbled over to the service desk, and as he put his hands on the counter, he flipped over a bowl of marbles, scattering them everywhere.
After taking a deep breath to calm himself, he announced to the wide-eyed woman working there, "My refrigerator doesn't work."
She replied, simply, "I don't doubt it."
A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to review his records.
At one point the auditor exclaimed, ''Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile.''
''Thank goodness,'' returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face, ''I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash.''