Thief had successfully entered the art museum on the second floor, where lesser known artists are displayed. After previewing the art, he selected a piece to take.
As he was making his getaway, one of the guards came up from behind, snatched the picture from under the thief's arms and slammed it down over his head.
"Now," said the guard, "don't you go and tell the judge that I framed you!"
Little Johnny, instead of an apple, would daily bring his new teacher a pretzel from his uncle's bakery. She always thanked Little Johnny but one day she said, "These pretzels are very good but do you think your uncle could make them with no salt?"
Every day afterwards the pretzel was salt free. After a while the teacher felt she was making too much extra work for Little Johnny's uncle to make them without salt especially for her.
"Little Johnny, I hope your uncle is not going to any great time to prepare the pretzel without salt?"
"Oh no," replied Little Johnny, "he doesn't make them without salt. I lick the salt off."