Terry slammed his cards on the table and left the game in a huff.

"Boy," said another player disgustingly, "I really hate playing cards with a bad loser."

"He isn't very pleasant," another player said, raking in the chips, "but it's better than playing with a good winner."

The inventor of the "Knock Knock" joke won a prestigious prize...

The "No Bell" prize!

On a cross country train, one of the passengers told the Pullman porter, "I must get off in Chicago. I'll probably be very sleepy, irritable, and may even object to getting off. Don't mind that. Throw me off the train if necessary."

The train had long since passed Chicago when the passenger woke on his own accord. He stormed down the train looking for the porter. As they almost collided between cars the porter's eyes popped really big and he said, "My goodness! How did you get back on this train?"

During tryouts for one of the chorus positions in the upcoming musical The Sound of Music, one of the girls told the judges, "Mother says I sing beautifully."

The judge replied, "Bring me a recommendation from your neighbors and I'll give you a tryout."