money jokes
Favorite this joke A family known for being extremely frugal was blessed with twin girls. Around three months a neighbor suggested that they have their pictures taken. The father thought this was a good ideal and the next time he saw the neighbor he showed him a photograph.
"This is a fine picture" said the neighbor. "But this is a picture of one of the girls. Where is the other one?"
"Well," said the father, "when we got to the photographer's, the good wife and I decided that since the twins look exactly alike, one picture would do for both of them."
Fresh from a visit to the dentist, I decided to stop at my bank. Barely able to enunciate, I told the teller, "I'm sorry about not speaking more clearly. I've been to the dentist."
"You should have used the drive-through," she said.
"Why?"
"Everyone who goes through sounds like you," she explained.
In San Diego to work with military linguists, my colleague and I checked into a hotel and ordered a 5 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, the phone didn’t ring until 5:30.
“You were supposed to call us at 5 a.m.!” I admonished the desk clerk on the other end of the line. “What if I had to close a million-dollar contract this morning? Your oversight would have cost me the deal!”
“Sir,” he said calmly, “if you had to close that type of deal, I doubt you’d be staying in this type of hotel.”
Him: "Since Mr. Wilson has lost his money, half his friends don't know him anymore."
Her: "And the other half?"
Him: "They don't know yet that he's lost his money."
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