"Did you ever pause and think about the opportunities you missed?"

"Nah, It would be just my luck to miss some more while I was reflecting."

Mr. Jones visited the Widow Brown every evening and had tea.

"Why don't you marry her?" ask a friend.

"I have often thought about it," said Mr. Jones. "But where would I spend my evenings?"

A girl went to a palmist to have her hand read.

"I see that you are in love with a tall man with a front tooth missing," the palmist said to her.

"That's right," was the reply.

"I see that he has ask you to marry him and his name is Bill Jones," the palmist said.

"That's marvelous," said the girl. "How can you tell that from the lines on my hand?"

"It's not the lines I am reading," the palmist said, "It's the ring you are wearing. I gave it back to Bill two weeks ago."

In my Sunday school class the focus was marriage or divorce, "The rapidly increasing divorce rate," remarked one member of the group, "indicates that America is indeed becoming the land of the free."

"Yes," replied the prosaic friend, "but the continued marriage rate suggests that America is still the home of the brave."