Romeo: "Somebody loves me."
Juliet: "Who loves you?"
Romeo: "Do you know that beautiful girl who moved into the corner house last week? I sang a serenade under her window last night, and she threw me a beautiful red, red rose."
Juliet: "In a moment of mad love?"
Romeo: "No, in a three pound pot."
A man came in late for work one day for the second time that week. His boss called him into her office and said, “What’s your excuse this time?”
He shrugged and said, “My clock didn’t go off and I overslept.”
She replied, “You could at least tell me something I haven’t heard before.”
He replied, “You are looking lovely today.”
During the vows at the wedding the minister asks the bride to be, "Do you take this man to be your wedded husband for better or worse?"
The bride answers, "Just as he is Father. If he gets any better, I know the Lord will take him, and if he gets any worse, I'll tend to him myself."