Harry: "I've just discovered oil."
Harriet: "Oh, how wonderful, now we can afford a new car! Now, where did you find it?"
Harry: "Leaking from our old car."
I have so much debt...
I can start a government.
Son: “Mom, can I have $20?”
Mom: “Does it look like I am made of money?”
Son: “Well, isn't that what M-O-M stands for?”
The air traffic controller, working a busy pattern, told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty (usually done to provide spacing between aircraft).
The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?"
Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth!"