marriage jokes
Favorite this joke A husband died. A few weeks later the wife died. As she got to heaven she saw her husband. She ran up to him with tears in her eyes.
"Darling, how I've missed you!"
The husband extends his arms stopping her from embracing him and says, "Whoa there woman, the contract was until death!"
Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.
Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash?
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use these clothes.
Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.
And that's when the fight started....
A husband comes in from the garage. His wife asks, "What's wrong?"
He replies, "I lost something. I thought I had put it somewhere safe in the garage."
"How many safe places are there in the garage?" she asks.
"Clearly one more than I can remember."
A man asks his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?"
His wife says, "Take half and leave you."
The man replies, "Great! I won 12 bucks, here is six, now get out!"
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