It was a couple's tenth wedding anniversary. The wife offered her husband a cup of coffee and went in to fetch some snacks. As she offered him snacks, he asked, "Where's your cup of coffee?"
She replied, "You work hard for us and you make me happy! So you deserve this cup of coffee."
The husband held her hands and said, "You have been the driving force behind me. You are my inspiration. Whatever I am today, it's only because, you have been beside me all the time. So you deserve this coffee and thanks for all your love!"
He handed her the cup. She sipped the coffee, very much moved by her husband's words. Their maid who witnessed all this, came up to the man the next day and said, "Sir, you are an ideal husband. It's your love for your wife that makes your marriage stronger."
The husband understood and said, "Yeah, it's love, but the coffee she made was really disgusting and I couldn't say no. So had to give it back to her."
John: "Do you know why the Bride and many other women cry at weddings?"
Fred: "No, why?"
John: "It's because the Bride isn't marrying the best man."
Mick and Paddy were working on the building site and stopped to have lunch. They sat on the 3rd floor veranda to eat their sandwiches. Paddy opened his lunch box and said, "I hate egg sandwiches." He then got up and threw them off the site onto the concrete below.
Next day, the same thing happened. He looked at his lunch box and said, "I hate egg sandwiches" and threw them over on to the concrete. The third day was similar, so he threw himself over on to the concrete.
Mick sent for an ambulance , to take him to hospital and then went to see Paddy's wife. He said, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but Paddy has been taken to hospital."
Paddy's wife said, "What happened?"
"I think it was your fault."
"Why would you say that?"
"Well, he said he hated egg sandwiches and threw himself off the balcony on to the concrete."
His wife said, "Well don't blame me, he makes his own sandwiches!"
An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
Neighbors feared him. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98. His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow.
Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down, and you know men won't ask for directions."