marriage jokes
Favorite this joke Wife’s diary: We had plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping all day with my friends. Later he was acting weird. I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late. He was silent at the restaurant too and didn’t eat much. While going to bed, he was looking serious. I quietly lied down. I felt that his thoughts were somewhere else. I had lost him. What to do now?
Husband’s diary: My car didn’t start this morning. Wondering what could have happened to it. Had nice dinner with the wife.
Watching her mother as she tried on her new fur coat, young Becky said unhappily, “Mom, do you realize some poor, dumb beast suffered so you could have that?”
The women shot her an angry look. “Becky, how dare you talk about your father like that!”
A woman was taking her time browsing through everything at a friend's yard sale. "My husband is going to be very angry I stopped at a yard sale," she said.
"I'm sure he'll understand when you tell him about all the bargains you found," her friend replied.
"Normally, yes," she said. "But he just broke his leg, and he's waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set."
A husband went to the police station to file a "missing person" report for his missing wife...
Husband: I lost my wife, she went shopping & hasn't come back yet!
Inspector: What is her height?
Husband: I never checked, she's five feet something...
Inspector: Slim or healthy?
Husband: Not slim, she can be healthy.
Inspector: Color of eyes?
Husband: Never noticed.
Inspector: Color of hair?
Husband: Changes according to season.
Inspector: What was she wearing?
Husband: Not sure. It may have been a suit or maybe shorts.
Inspector: Was she driving?
Husband: Yes.
Inspector: Tell me what kind of car she was driving?
Husband: A black 2015 Corvette Z06, with supercharged 6.2 liter V8 engine generating 625 horse power teamed with an eight-speed track certified HD automatic transmission with paddle shifters and a removable carbon fiber roof pan!
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