marriage jokes
Favorite this joke Mr. and Mrs. Smith were always fighting. Then one morning as Mrs. Smith was driving around town, running some errands, her car was crashed into by a hit and run driver at a relatively low speed.
A police officer rushed up and asked her if she'd taken the car's number.
"I didn't need to," replied Mrs. Smith. "It was my husband in that car."
"Did you see him?" asked the officer.
"No," said Mrs. Smith, "but I'd recognize that laugh anywhere."
A couple was relating their vacation experiences to a friend. "It sounds as if you had a great time in Texas," the friend observed. "But didn't you tell me you were planning to visit Colorado?"
"Well," the husband said, "we changed our plans because, uh..."
His wife cut in, "Oh, tell the truth, Fred!"
Fred was completely silent. After a long pause, the wife continued, "You know, it's just ridiculous! Fred simply will not use any navigation devices or ask for directions!"
Feeling listless, I bought some expensive "brain-stimulating" pills at the health food store. But it wasn’t until I got home that I read the label.
"This is just rosemary extract," I complained to my husband. "I can’t believe I spent all that money for something that I have growing wild in the yard!"
"See?" he said. "You’re smarter already."
There are women whose thoughtful husbands buy them flowers for no reason. And then there’s me. One day I couldn’t stand it any longer. "Why don’t you ever bring me flowers?" I asked.
"What’s the point?" my husband said. "They die after about a week."
"So could you," I shot back, "but I still like having you around."
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