marriage jokes

My husband was trying to embarrass me at a party by carrying on about all the stuff women carry in their purses.

Instead of blushing I said, “You’re right. There IS too much stuff in my purse.” So, I removed his wallet, cigarettes, lighter, and car keys and handed them to him.

When he asked what he was supposed to do with them, I smile and said, “Get your own purse!”

Wife: "No, I'm telling you, I'm right! He couldn't eat the Trix because he was an adult rabbit and Trix were only supposed to be for kids."

Husband: "Well, I always thought it was just because he was a rabbit and not a person."

[A period of silence -- the wife looks down at her food.]

Husband: "What's wrong?"

Wife: "I'm just really getting tired of you always being wrong."

NIKE was founded by men, so its tagline says - "Just do it!"

If it had been founded by a woman, its tagline would have been...

"Just do it... if you want to... I don't want to force you... It's your life... Anyway you don't listen to me.. Do what you want to do... Who am I to say anything... But it has to happen and you have to do it!"