marriage jokes

A husband and wife were at the mall when they got separated. The wife calls him on her cell phone. "Where are you?" she asks.

"Well, do you remember the store when we were first married and you were looking at a beautiful ring in the jewelry store window, but we could not afford it?"

"Yes", she replies, excited to think about what he was about to say, a tear forming in her eyes.

"Great, I am at the sports store right next to it."

Husband: Look dear, I just bought us one of those plug in air fresheners. But for some reason it's not working.

Wife: It's not plugged in.

Husband: You mean I have to plug it in for it to start freshening the air?

Wife: It's a plug in air freshener. How can it work if you don't plug it in?

Husband: It makes no scents!

My husband was trying to embarrass me at a party by carrying on about all the stuff women carry in their purses.

Instead of blushing I said, “You’re right. There IS too much stuff in my purse.” So, I removed his wallet, cigarettes, lighter, and car keys and handed them to him.

When he asked what he was supposed to do with them, I smile and said, “Get your own purse!”