The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asked.
"Sweetheart," she sobbed, "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out of the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering the phone, I found that the cat had eaten it!"
"Don't worry, darling," said her husband. "Don't cry. We can get a new cat tomorrow."
A woman had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow," said her husband, "that was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"
"Wrong number," replied the wife.
Hearing his wife as she sings, the husband says, "You know dear, when you sing like that I just wish you were on the radio."
The wife smiles and replies, "Wow honey, you think I am that good?"
"No, but at least that way I can change the station or turn it off."
My Mother-in-Law went to the beauty parlor the other day and she was there for five hours...
And that was just for the estimate!