marriage jokes
Favorite this joke A woman notices her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “You know, that’s not going to help,” she says.
“Sure it does,” he answers. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
At a wedding ceremony, the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. Everything quickly turned to chaos when a woman carrying a child started walking towards the front.
Everybody was surprised, shocked, and the bride even fainted. The pastor asked the woman if she had anything to say.
The woman replied, "We can't hear in the back."
Husband: You will never succeed, in making that dog obey you.
Wife: Nonsense! it's only a matter of patience, remember I had a lot of trouble with you at first as well...
Once a doctor invented a birthing pain share machine, where a spouse could share the joys and pains of birthing with their partner. So a couple walks in and was ready for labor and they agreed to try the device.
The doctor diverted 1 % and checked to see how the husband felt, he said he was okay. They proceeded with 5%, 10%, 25% and up to 50% and the husband was still feeling fine. They were proud parents of a beautiful baby and proceeded to head home.
When they got home, they found the mailman dead at their front door.
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