Husband: Why is the food cold and bland?
Wife: Because your mother put her heart and soul into it.
My wife complained that I never take her anywhere...
I told her that's not true, we take a trip around the sun every year!
What's your favorite book?
My husband's checkbook.
If you want to change the world, do it when you are single!
Once you' re married, you can't even change the TV channel.