marriage jokes

Husband: Every time I yell and get angry at you, you never fight back. How do you manage your anger?

Wife: I clean the toilet seat.

Husband: How does that help?

Wife: I use your toothbrush.

My wife keeps reminding me about some things that need repair around the house. One would think that after six months she’d know I have the list memorized.

Two friends are in the living room. The wife of one of them is in the kitchen. "Sweetheart, please, can you hand us the bottle of whisky?" he says. And then, again, "Sweetheart, and two glasses please?"

The other man stares at him and says, "My gosh, how long have you been married?"

"Thirty years."

"Oh wow, and you still call her sweetheart?"

And the first whispers, "Well, I forgot what her name is!"