marriage jokes

A man went on a dating website, hoping to find a wife. In his profile description he wrote, "Looking for a woman that is smart, pretty, funny, a good cook, organized at home, and has a BASS BOAT!"

He then paused, gave it some more thought, and added, "To be considered, please include picture of the boat."

The husband was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He went out to ask his wife what was for supper. She was quite irritated about him sitting in the air
conditioned house all day, so she shot back at him, "Think of me as dead from now on and do what you would do if I was."

So he went back in the house and fixed him a big steak, potato and a big glass of tea. She walked in about the time he was finishing up and asked him, "So you fixed something to eat? Where is mine?"

He replied, "I didn't fix you anything as I thought you were dead."

A tired and frustrated wife arrived home late from work and quietly entered the master bedroom where she saw four sets of feet hanging over the end of the bed. Furious, she grabbed an umbrella and began to hit the covers hearing groans from underneath them.

Exhausted she goes down the stairs to the kitchen for a stiff drink where she is shocked to see her husband standing in the kitchen.

"Your mom and dad arrived unexpectedly, so I gave them our room. Did you say hello?"

A woman was telling her boyfriend that she always dreamed that she would walk down the aisle with him.

So the very next day he took her to the supermarket.