marriage jokes

A couple was arranging for their wedding, and asked the bakery to inscribe the wedding cake with "1 John 4:18" which reads "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear."

The bakery evidently lost, smudged or otherwise misread the noted reference, and beautifully inscribed on the cake "John 4:18" which reads "for you have had five husbands, and the man you have now is not your husband."

What did the ancient Roman general's wife shout out as she came into the bedroom and saw a woman fleeing out the window?

"Seize 'er!"

(Husband) Honey, at this year’s office Halloween party why don’t I wear a superman costume you can go as a witch?

(Wife) How clever!

(Husband) What do you mean?

(Wife) It’s a polar opposite theme right?

(Husband) Honey, according to my focus group men should be in control of the TV remote.

(Wife) Who’s in your focus group?

(Husband) Well, actually right now it’s a focus group of one, but I’m working on membership.