marriage jokes
Favorite this joke Wife to husband: “Did you like supper?”
Trying to be polite, the husband says, “Yes.”
The wife says, “I was just wondering, because when I gave some to the cats they tried to bury it.”
A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing.
Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator. Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style. She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn't suit you. Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore. Then as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore?' "And so, here we are!"
Amy and Judy are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time. Amy is upset because she thinks her husband doesn't find her attractive anymore.
"As I get older he doesn't bother to look at me!" Amy cries.
"I'm so sorry for you. As I get older my husband says I get more beautiful every day," replies Judy.
"Yes, but your husband's an antique dealer!"
Joe, I hear your are celebrating your 50th anniversary, any special plans for the wife?
Yes, I took her to Hawaii for our 25th and I thought I would go back and get her to celebrate the 50th.
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