marriage jokes
Favorite this joke Once upon a time there was a woman married to an annoying man. He complained about everything. One day he went to the creek with his mule and as he went, he complained so much that the mule got annoyed and kicked him to death.
At the funeral, as men walked by, the wife shook her head "yes". Every time women walked by, she shook her head "no".
The minister asked, ''Why are you shaking your head 'yes' for men and 'no' for women?''
Her response was, ''When the men walk by saying how sorry they feel for me, I respond saying, 'Yes, I'll be alright.' When the women walk by, they keep asking if the mule is for sale."
Studying our wedding photos, my six-year-old asked, “Did you marry Dad because he was good-looking?”
“Not really,” I replied.
“Did you marry him for his money?”
“Definitely not,” I laughed. “He didn’t have any.”
“So,” he said, “you just felt sorry for him?”
As I stepped out of the shower, I heard someone in my kitchen downstairs. Knowing that my wife was out, I grabbed my 1903 heirloom rifle—which no longer works—and crept downstairs, forgetting the fact that I was in my birthday suit.
I came around the corner with the gun raised, only to find my wife loading the dishwasher. “What are you doing?” she asked.
“I thought I heard an intruder.
I came down to scare him.”
Scanning the contours of my doughy, naked body, she mumbled, “You didn’t need the gun.”
My client buys many rental properties, not always with the
enthusiastic support of his wife.
Recently, I was showing him a home when his wife called. I could hear her ask what he was doing. “The real estate agent and I are having an affair,” he answered.
“Oh, thank God,” she said. “I thought she was selling you another house.”
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