marriage jokes

When my wife and I went out for dinner I thought I'd have a little fun. I said to her, "Did you see that waitress? She looked at me and smiled."

Without batting an eye my wife responded, "So what, the first time I saw you I laughed right out loud. It means nothing."

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Miller Lite and puts it in their cart.

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.

"They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans," he replies.

"Put them back, it's a waste of money," demands the wife. And so he does and so they carry on shopping. A few aisles further on along, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.

"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.

Her husband retorts, "Well so does 24 cans of Miller Lite and it's half the price."

Shortly after their honeymoon a wife came up with a list of the changes she wanted her new husband to make. Trying to please her, he agreed to change.

A year later, after numerous changes, his wife started complaining he wasn't the man she married.

Go figure.