marriage jokes

My husband and I often spell words so that our small children won't understand what we're saying. I didn't realize what a habit this had become until one day when my husband and I were in the grocery store at the soup aisle.

An aggressive young woman banged into our cart, then nudged me over, blocking my access to the soup. Annoyed, I looked at my husband and said, "Boy is she r-u-d-e!"

"Yeah," he replied, "but I'll bet she can s-p-e-l-l."

Husband stepping out of the shower, "Honey, I think I'm losing weight finally!"

Wife replies, "Why's that?"

"My towel's fitting a lot looser!"

"What is so special about the new app?"

"It automatically turns off the phone whenever there is a call from the wife."

"What is it called?"

"Wifebuoy."