marriage jokes
Favorite this joke Guy tells his wife: For your birthday, how about a new car?
Wife: No.
Guy: How about a new boat?
Wife: No.
Guy: Well then, what do you want?
Wife: I want a divorce.
Guy: I wasn’t planning on spending that much money.
Tom tried to calm himself down in the middle of a severe argument with his wife Jany. He said to her, “Let us not fight any more. We should try to sort this out in a level-headed manner.”
Fuming with anger, Jany replied, “No. Whenever we try to sort things out in a level-headed manner, I lose!”
A lady with a large flowery hat was stopped at the church door by the usher.
"Are you a friend of the bride?" he asked.
"Certainly not," she snapped, "I'm the groom's mother."
An important and very well publicized murder trial was soon to begin. In preparation for the trial, the tiresome jury selection process took place, each side hotly contesting and dismissing potential jurors.
One prospective juror, Dan O'Keefe, was called for his question session.
He was asked, "Property holder?"
Dan replied, "Yes, I am, Your Honor."
Then he was asked, "Married or single?"
Dan responded, "Married for twenty years, Your Honor."
Then the judge asked, "Formed or expressed an opinion?"
Dan stated with certainty, "Not in twenty years, Your Honor."
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