My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage.
He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my mom would be like. It seems the minister asked my mom, "Do you take this man to be your husband?" and she said, "I do."
Then the minister asked my Dad, "Do you take this woman to be your wife?" and my mom said, "He does."
Guy tells his wife: For your birthday, how about a new car?
Wife: No.
Guy: How about a new boat?
Wife: No.
Guy: Well then, what do you want?
Wife: I want a divorce.
Guy: I wasn’t planning on spending that much money.
Tom tried to calm himself down in the middle of a severe argument with his wife Jany. He said to her, “Let us not fight any more. We should try to sort this out in a level-headed manner.”
Fuming with anger, Jany replied, “No. Whenever we try to sort things out in a level-headed manner, I lose!”
A lady with a large flowery hat was stopped at the church door by the usher.
"Are you a friend of the bride?" he asked.
"Certainly not," she snapped, "I'm the groom's mother."