marriage jokes

One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller. You don't love me any more?"

"Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook better now."

My sister has been divorced 3 times and is in a new relationship, so her attorney gave her a reward card.

The next divorce is on the house.

Lately my wife has been telling me, when she gets out of bed, she has a headache...

Maybe I should tell her to get out of bed feet first.