What does an Orthopedic Surgeon like for breakfast?
Rice Krispies... because they go SNAP, CRACKLE, & POP!
Did you hear about the turtle being shot at in the army?
He was SHELL shocked!
A young gentleman in a jewelry store looking at engagement rings. The sales clerk walks over and asks, "May I give you a hand with something?"
He replied, "No thanks, I already have her hand... now I just need THE SOMETHING!"
Did you hear about the farmer who's cow fell on him during milking?
He was in UDDER dismay!