What do you call Santa’s helpers?
My email password has been hacked again...
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat!
My wife said to me, "How on earth are we going to use 9% less gas this winter?"
"You can stop burning my dinner for a start," I replied.
"I want to divorce my wife."
"On what grounds?"
"She is out all night, every night, going from bar to bar."
"Are you saying she's an alcoholic or do you think she's cheating?"
"No, she is looking for me."