maryjones Profile

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maryjones

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2018
# of jokes posted : 219
# of followers : 1
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 3
Location: United States
won: $ 619.00
9 votes

Taylor was desperate for business, and was happy to be appointed by the court to defend an indigent defendant. The judge ordered Taylor,"You are to confer with the defendant in the hallway, and give him the best legal advice you can."

After a time, Taylor re-entered the courtroom alone. When the judge asked where the defendant had gone, Taylor replied, "You asked me to give him good advice. I found out that he was so guilty, so I told him to split."

9 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "maryjones" |
7 votes

"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.

"If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.

7 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "maryjones" |
$12.00 won 10 votes

A cop pulls a car over on the highway for speeding.

When he asks for the driver's license, the driver argued, "Speeding? But officer, I was only trying to keep a safe distance between my car the the car behind me!"

10 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$50.00 won 10 votes

Because of a minor infraction, a sailor aboard Navy ship bound for Japan, was busted one rank, fined, and given extra duty for three weeks. Looking forward to celebrating his 21st birthday on July 22, he consoled himself every night during his extra duty by reciting, "They can bust me, they can fine me -- but they can't take away my birthday."

As July 22 approached, his excitement increased. When he went to bed on July 21, he happily repeated, "They can bust me, they can fine me -- but they can't take away my birthday."

The next morning, he found out that the ship had crossed the international date line -- and it was July 23.

10 votes

CATEGORY Military Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "maryjones" |