maryjones Profile

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maryjones

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2018
# of jokes posted : 403
# of followers : 3
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 3
Location: United States
won: $ 1099.00
$12.00 won 9 votes

Wife #1: Hey, Lynn, tell me this. How did you get your husband from staying out late?

Wife #2: Well, every time he would come home I would simply say, 'Mike, is that you?'

Wife #1: But I still don't understand. How did that kept him from staying out?

Wife #2: My husband's name is Andrew...

9 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$10.00 won 13 votes

Husband: "Now that we are married, perhaps I might venture to point out a few of your little defects."

Wife: "Don't bother, dear. I'm quite aware of them. It was those little defects that prevented me from getting a much better man than you."

13 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$12.00 won 6 votes

A cop pulls a car over on the highway for speeding.

When he asks for the driver's license, the driver argued, "Speeding? But officer, I was only trying to keep a safe distance between my car the the car behind me!"

6 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$12.00 won 9 votes

A lonely kayaker wrote to a dating service explaining that he had specific criteria for a potential mate and would not accept anyone that doesn't meet his standard.

He described what his future soulmate should be like: the young lady must be cute, short, enjoys cold water and paddling.

A couple of weeks later he received the following in the mail: a picture of a penguin.

9 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "maryjones" |