marriage jokes

My wife shot me with the nail gun today...

She must think I’m a stud!

Dating is like traveling on a bicycle. If you don’t like the journey, you can get off anytime.

Marriage is like traveling by airplane. Once you’re in, you can’t get off that easy.

I got really angry with my car navigation today. I even yelled at it and told it to "go to hell."

Twenty minutes later, it brought me in front of my mother-in-law’s house.

Wife: Darling, it was such a hard day. Would you tell me the three magical words that always make me so happy?

Husband: You are right.

Wife: Very funny, no, the other ones.

Husband: I was wrong.