marriage jokes

Arguing with the wife is a lot like trying to read the Terms of Use on the internet.

In the end you just give up and go “I Agree”.

Me: *Tells joke to wife*

*Silence*

Me: *Repeats joke to wife*

Wife: “Oh no, I heard you.”

Therapist: "I think you have a phobia of marriage. Do you know what the symptoms are?"

Me: "Can't say I do."

Therapist: "That's one of them!"

After he died, I couldn't even look at another man for almost 20 years.

But now that I'm out of prison, I can honestly say it was worth it.