marriage jokes

Category: "Marriage Jokes"
$8.00 won 10 votes

Deciding to give his wife a pleasant surprise, the husband took home some flowers and a box of candy. "Hazel, you look tired," he said to his wife. "Slip on your best outfit and lets go out to eat."

Hazel bursts into tears. "It was bad enough to have the baby fall down the back steps and burn my hand in the kitchen," she sobbed, "but to have you come home intoxicated is just too much!"

10 votes

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Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Everleigh" |
$12.00 won 10 votes

A girl asked an old bachelor friend whether he had been disappointed in love?

"No, I never was exactly disappointed in love. I was what you might call discouraged. You see, when I was very young I became much enamored with a young lady of my acquaintance. I was mortally afraid to tell her of my feelings, but at last I got the courage to the proposing point. I said 'Let's get married!'"

"And what did she say?

"She said, 'Good Lord, Who'd have us.'"

10 votes

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Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "barber7796" |
$6.00 won 10 votes

Little Johnny's homework assignment was about The War of 1776.

As Johnny was doing his homework he asked his father, "Who was it that said 'we haven't started to fight yet'?"

"A bride and groom, still on their honeymoon I guess," growled his dad.

10 votes

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Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Benjones" |
7 votes

A man was watching TV and enjoying a beer. "Don't go," he yelled at the screen. "Do not enter that building. Walk away. Argh, you stupid man!"

His wife called from the kitchen, "What on earth are you watching?"

"Our wedding video."

7 votes

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posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |