marriage jokes
Favorite this joke The wedding was a beautiful affair and the reception equally stunning, the guests had all settled down with drinks in hand. A prayer for the food and a toast to the young couple was requested from the 100 year old Matriarch of the family.
A beautiful prayer was then said extolling the wonderful young couple and how hopes for a long married life would follow with many blessings of children.
Next the toast was started with the traditional request to raise your glasses high, the Grandmother then started: "One is sufficient, two at the most, three I'm under the table, and four I'm under the host."
I just had a near-sex experience…
My whole wife flashed before my eyes.
My wife said, "Honey I didn’t marry you for your good looks, because you’re not so handsome, and I didn’t marry you for your money either because we’re always broke, I married you for your brain, BECAUSE it’s the little things that count."
As a member of the Marine Corps, a man was stationed at Twenty-Nine Palms Base in California. Among those serving there was a private who was determined not to re-enlist. At inspection one morning, the officer asked him, "Are you married, son?"
"No, sir," he replied. "Engaged."
"There's no need to get married," the officer said, sensing an opportunity to change the private's plans for discharge. "The Marine Corps is your wife. It clothes you, feeds you, puts a roof over your head, keeps you in top physical condition and provides you with companionship. What else could you possibly want?"
"With all due respect, sir," answered the private, "... a divorce!"
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