We were driving in my friend Larry's new car. I asked him about its features.
He listed the usual, then added: "It tells me to slow down as I approach the speed limit. It warns me when I have to stop. It points out solid no-passing lines."
I expressed my amazement.
"But," he explained, "these features work only when my wife is in the car."
A woman had an attack of laryngitis and lost her voice completely for two days.
To help her communicate, her husband devised a system of taps.
One tap meant "Give me a kiss", two taps meant "Yes", seven taps meant "No", and 95 taps meant "Take out the garbage".
Every morning during our coffee break, my co-workers and I listened to the culinary disasters of a newlywed colleague. We then tried to share some helpful hints and recipes.
One day she asked us for step-by-step instructions on cooking sweet potatoes, one of her husband's favorites. "I've finally been able to make them sweet," she said, "but how do you make them orange?"
My wife and I are a temperamental couple...
I’ve got a temper and she’s mental.