Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated.
As she emerged from the dressing room, having tried on the last selection, she asked for her husband's opinion. By this time he had learned just the right things to say.
"It's perfect!" he exclaimed. "It makes your waist look smaller, your legs look longer, and slenderizes your hips."
Just then another lady in the dressing room spoke out, "If there is a dress here that will do that, I'll buy them all!"
This guy wanted a boat more than anything. His wife kept refusing, but he bought one anyway. "I'll tell you what," he told her. "In the spirit of compromise, why don't you name the boat?"
Being a good sport, she accepted. When her husband went to the dock for his maiden voyage, this is the name he saw painted on the side: "For Sale"
I went into a flower shop the other day and ordered a dozen roses. While paying for them the woman clerk asked, "Anniversary?"
I replied, "No."
Again, I replied, "No."
Having paid, I was walking to the door when she called after me saying, "I hope she forgives you!"