marriage jokes

Category: "Marriage Jokes"
$15.00 won 5 votes

"For heaven's sake, Chris, why can't you talk to me once in a while?" Julie whined.

"What?" Chris replied.

"Look around!" Julie yelled, as she pointed around the room. "Look at all these books! You always have your head buried in a book! You don't even seem to know I'm alive!"

"I'm sorry, honey," Chris said.

"Sometimes I wish I were a book. Maybe then you'd at least look at me!" Julie exclaimed.

"Hmmmm," Chris mumbled, "that's not such a bad idea. Then I could take you to the library every few days and change you for something more interesting."

5 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "HENNE" |
$7.00 won 5 votes

Top 3 situations that require witnesses:

1) Crimes
2) Accidents
3) Marriages

Need I say more?

5 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "S.Sovetts" |
$10.00 won 8 votes

A man, in his carefree bachelor days, had been very fond of a Washington restaurant which specialized in waffles with honey. Year after year he had visited this place to get this very delectable meal, so when he married, he decided to to take his wife there so they could share the pleasure together. He did not tell her what was coming, merely ordering an excellent meal with two orders of waffles.

The meal came, the waffles came but there were two small pitchers of near maple syrup, but no honey.

He called the waitress over and whispered loud enough for his wife to hear, "Where's my honey?"

The waitress beamed intelligently, "She's on vacation and will be back next week."

8 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$6.00 won 3 votes

During his wedding rehearsal, the groom approached his pastor with an unusual offer. "I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows, and leave out the 'love, honor, obey, and forsake all others' part." He pressed a $100 bill in the pastor's hand and walked away with a satisfied smile.

On the day of the wedding, the groom was feeling pretty pleased when the pastor got to the part where the vows are exchanged. The pastor looked him in the eye and asked, "Will you promise to bow before her, obey whatever command she gives, fulfill her every wish, serve her breakfast each morning, and swear before God that you'll not look at another woman as long as you both shall live?"

The groom gulped and looked astonished, but he finally said "Yes" in a tiny voice. He then leaned in toward the pastor and whispered, "I thought we had a deal?"

The pastor pressed the $100 bill back into his hand and whispered in return, "She made me a much better offer."

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "wadejagz" |