Two old ladies meet for the first time since they left school. One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school, did you manage to live a well-planned life?"
"Oh yes," said her friend. "My first marriage was to a millionaire, my second to an actor, third to a preacher and I'm now married to an undertaker."
Her friend asked, "What do those marriages have to do with a well-planned life?"
"One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go!"
Husband and wife are having a conversation.
Wife: "Since we got married, we don't go out anymore and we never go eat at nice restaurants. You are not romantic anymore. You never say sweet things to me anymore."
Husband: (Chuckling) "Oh Darling, don't look too much into it. You know I still love you. But have you ever seen a politician campaigning after winning an election?"