marriage jokes

Category: "Marriage Jokes"
3 votes

Busy in the yard one afternoon, my father paused to admire our neighbor's new boat.

"Sure is a beauty, Charles," Dad said. Knowing that Charles was conservative when it came to spending money, my father asked, "Was it expensive?"

"The boat itself wasn't so bad," Charles replied. "But the extras really hurt."

"You mean things like water skis, life jackets, and trailer?" my father asked.

"No," our neighbor said with a sigh. "I mean what the wife wanted - the new carpet, the kitchen cabinets, and the cabin room furniture."

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Retired Terp" |
5 votes

In my Sunday school class the focus was marriage or divorce, "The rapidly increasing divorce rate," remarked one member of the group, "indicates that America is indeed becoming the land of the free."

"Yes," replied the prosaic friend, "but the continued marriage rate suggests that America is still the home of the brave."

5 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Everleigh" |
$9.00 won 7 votes

Husband: “Call 911 quick, I think I’m having a heart attack!“

The wife picked up his cell phone to call. She said, “Give me your password!”

Husband: "Never mind, I’m feeling much better now."

7 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Chloe2015" |
$10.00 won 4 votes

Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man.

"This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one.

"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.

And so they began arguing until the King called for silence.

"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half."

"Sounds good to me," said the first lady.

But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him."

The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The man must marry the first woman's daughter," he proclaimed.

"But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court.

"Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law!"

4 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "HENNE" |