It was my wedding day, and no one was happier than my 78-year-old mother.
But as she approached the church doors, an usher asked, “Which side are you on?”
“Oh, no,” she said. “Are they fighting already?”
If I lock my keys in my car, all I have to do is call OnStar and they unlock my car.
If the car is stolen, they can lock all the doors and trap the thief in the car.
Whenever my wife tells me she is taking the car to go shopping, I call OnStar and tell them my car has been stolen.
My husband George, and I enjoy taking ballroom and Latin dance classes for fun and exercise. One cold, wet morning, on our way to church, I said to George, "This afternoon would be a good time to stay in and finish making preserves for the church bazaar."
After church, a friend asked how we were going to spend the rest of the day.
We're going home to do salsa" George replied.
"Oh," she said, "you two are always dancing."
The couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. An interviewer asked, "Could you please share the secret to a long marriage?"
The husband answered, "Never criticize your wife for her short-comings, or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that it is because of her shortcomings and weaknesses that she could not find a better husband than you."