marriage jokes
Favorite this joke When our dryer broke, my husband set to work. He found the problem quickly and, since he needed to replace the belt, decided to repair a cracked knob and a broken hinge too.
Upon arrival at the Sears parts counter, he said he needed a belt, knob, hinge, and a crescent-shaped wire he'd found inside the dryer. He didn't know where it belonged, but he confidently assured the clerk that he could figure it out once he got into the job.
"I have the other parts," the clerk said, "but for the wire you have to go to Lingerie. This is an underwire from your wife's bra."
Husband: "Happy Anniversary, Honey! I got you a DVD player."
Wife: "Oh, thank you, dear, but how were you able to afford it?"
Husband: "I sold our TV."
Each Friday night I drove my wife to the train station so she could go visit her sister who was ill. Ten minutes later, my sister arrived by train so that she could help with the house and kids over the weekend while my wife was gone. On Sundays this procedure worked in reverse with my sister departing by train 10 minutes before my wife arrived.
One evening after my sister left and while I awaited my wife's arrival, a porter sauntered over.
"Mister," he said, "you sure have some system going! But one of these days you're goin' to get caught!"
My wife packed my bags and told me to leave.
As I was headed out the door, she said, "I hope you live a long and lonely life!”
I replied, "So now you want me to stay?"
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